Nope. I can’t do it. I can’t do it all.
And, while I understand this concept intellectually, somehow every time I have open space in my calendar the cold, hard facts about how long it actually takes to accomplish things start to mist over, and, as if in a dream, I begin to imagine that it actually IS possible to do everything. Right here, right now.
To which I can only say, “HA!”
I had a conversation yesterday with a client, we'll call her Millicent, who has, not one, but multiple fantastic, creative, transformative, BIG visions, and who seems to be growing in doubt and fear the closer she comes to realizing them. That doesn't surprise me, since the farther we get from our comfort zone and what's known and "safe," the more threatened our ego mind becomes, and the more it starts kicking up the volume on all the reasons why we can't do what we're doing, why it's a terrible idea, and why we're going to fail (and end up on the street, and die, if we're really going to follow this path to its logical conclusion).
Wow. That went fast.
I was about to mockingly congratulate myself on sending out my second JOYmail in 2016, when I realized that, you know what, there’s actually a reason why I haven’t sent out more than one newsletter this year. In fact, there are several reasons, and I’m thinking now that it might be helpful to share some of them with you.
In the spirit of gratitude to all of the people who have shared their vulnerable moments over the years, and helped me feel less alone and more hopeful in so many areas of my life, I am sharing with you what spilled out of me in a moment (a long moment) of fear and shame and sadness. This is the exchange I had with my ego last week. I hope you find in it something of value to help you through any downward-spiraling moments of your own, if you ever happen to have any...
Been hitting a wall?
If so, you're not alone. According to The Power Path's monthly forecast, the theme of July is "Growing Pains." If my life, or the lives of pretty much all of my clients, are any indication, these shamans have it dead straight:
So a month ago, at 11:30 on a Tuesday night, I suddenly became possessed by the idea that I had to join a gym. (For those of you who know me, "join a gym" was not even close to the phrase you would have expected to follow the words, "I had to." Even I was shocked by the overwhelming pull I was feeling to do this.)
A couple of weeks ago I attended my son’s school talent show. He is seven. He held up a glass and showed the audience that there was a quarter in the glass. It was good that he said this, because I don’t think anyone in the audience could actually see that there was a quarter in the glass. Then he made the quarter disappear. (I don’t think anyone could actually see this either.)
I just got this note from someone who participated in my last Get One Thing Done Day, we'll call her Abby:
"I 'got one thing done,' Jennifer, and put project to-do lists on my bulletin board, plus made shelves for individual project papers. But there are so many. I'm a KALEIDOSCOPE, with many interests. Setting priorities is hard. I end up doing the urgent things, jumping from one to another, all so important."
First of all, if you're my dad, you may want to seriously consider not reading the rest of this article. Same goes for you if you're the kind of person who gets squeamish talking about ladies' undergarments.OK, now that that's out of the way--I don't know about you, but I pretty much hate wearing bras. Every once in a while I'll luck into one that fits so comfortably that I forget that I'm wearing it, but most of the time I feel like I'm stuck in a harness that I can't wait to rip off.
Well, my plan was to stay in touch with all of the amazing people in the Place of Joy community, to do it consistently, and to share things I think you’ll value.
I wanted to do this because (1) I have a lot to teach and writing is a great way for me to get it out there, (2) people respond to a lot of what I write about and it seems to make a difference to them, and (3) because the general consensus is that if you stay in touch with your community consistently and provide value, your business will grow.
OK, so I know I’ve spent the year running programs and workshops designed to help people get their stuff done, and that a lot of the questions I ask have to do with what things you wished you’d gotten to this year but didn’t. And I’m not going to pretend that it’s not true that there are probably things on your list you haven’t gotten to—I know it’s certainly true for me.
I feel like I just got through one batch of holidays and am diving head-first into another, without a second to breathe. And while I know there are lots of other people who celebrate all sorts of holidays and still manage to run households, businesses, personal lives and school book fairs, frankly I sometimes can’t imagine how they do it. Or, more accurately, how they do it without breaking down and crying and/or getting a little snappish and/or wondering what would happen if they just quit doing everything.
Let me share with you a conversation I recently had with my six (and-three-quarter) year-old son on our walk home from school:
Me: Would you still love me if I were a zombie?
James: If you didn't eat my brains I would love you. [Thoughtful pause.] I would love the "you" I remember, not the zombie you. If you tried to eat my brains I would throw a jalapeno at you and burn you up.
I thought this was a reasonable response.
My husband agreed, and added this: You see, that's how James is going to make it through the Zombie Apocalypse, he realizes you can't get sentimental.
So what does this have to to with business? I'm glad you asked.
So this is what I brought to the coffee shop this morning:
My laptop (so I could write)
My planner (so I could map out my week)
My to-do notebook (so I could update my to-dos, list the things I still need to get done for my daughter’s birthday party this afternoon, and go over the list of people I want to connect with)
Client tracker forms (so I could update session dates and notes)
A book (The 12 Week Year) and a second notebook (so I could define my goals for the next twelve weeks, break them down into specific steps, and put the first week’s steps into a tracking chart)
Headphones (so I could listen to a meditation)
Super intentions for a jam-packed morning of efficiency and action! And super-overestimating how much I could possibly accomplish in the two hours I had to get my work done.
WHY DO I DO THIS???